EPISODE RELEASED 1st OCTOBER 2024
WHY ARE WE SEEING SUCH A RISE IN YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSES? HOW DO WE RELATIVISE THIS AGAINST RISING MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS? WHAT'S THE BEST APPROACH FOR PARENTS SEEKING SOLUTIONS? HOW CAN SOCIAL CONNECTION AND LONELINESS COMPLETELY CHANGE TRAUMA INTEGRATION? WHAT ROLE DOES THE RECENT EXPLOSION OF DEVICES AND THE INTERNET IN YOUNG PEOPLE'S LIVES PLAY IN THE CHANGING SITUATION?
In this episode we have the important topic of Youth Mental Health to get ourselves up to date on. There’s a lot of polemic around this topic theses days, for example some of the older generation argue that all this focus on mental health is making our young people feel more sensitive and less resilient; while others argue that tech companies are not taking responsibility for their devices and functionalities as a source of decline in youth mental health, pushing the responsibility for regulation back onto the parents and young people. So today we’re going to try and unravel these often divisory issues in a balanced way; we’re going to be discussing the importance of threat and safety to a child’s state of mind as they develop; the power of the parent or carer’s own unresolved issues to transmit to young people, creating symptoms in the child; the importance of going to the root of the problem rather than just treating symptoms; the role of escapism as an emotional avoidance strategy, and how digital platforms and device providers have taken advantage of that tendency, and the parenting strategies to guide this; we’re going to discuss the role of shame in us avoiding facing these issues, and so side stepping the positivity of acceptance and resulting resilience; and the consequences of us overprotecting children in the real world but not enough online.
Fortunately, considering the nuanced and potentially triggering topic of the mental well being of the children we parent and teach, today’s guest has just released the paper back version of his new book on exactly this topic, “How the world is making our children mad and what to do about it”. As a hugely experienced child psychotherapist and founder of the charity “Apart of Me” that supports children to transform their loss into compassion, he is perfectly placed to give us un update on this, and is filled with excellent stories and advice to help us face it. He is of course Louis Weinstock, a transpersonal psychotherapist and mindfulness specialist, who has worked with a wide range of sufferers from the criminal justice system, to drug addicts, to homeless people, to troubled teens and their parents.
What we discuss:
00:00 Intro.
05:51 The 10yo who discovered meditation by himself.
09:00 Our mental life is inseparable from our environment.
11:45 ‘Fetal programming’ is applied in utero by the mother’s environment.
14:10 Improvements in kid’s mental health, simply from parents doing the work.
18:45 Children having behaviour issues at the same age as their parent’s had trauma.
21:20 The evolutionary history of shame.
25:40 The difference between shame (about oneself) and guilt (about an action).
28:00 Rupture & repair: conflict in relationships is bearable and repairable.
29:25 Is psychotherapy worth it for kids, considering the stigma?
30:00 Psychotherapy is useless without lifestyle & relationship changes.
34:15 Mental health awareness can exaggerate our negative view of ourselves.
38:30 Massive jump in recent stats on youth mental health. - Diagnoses have doubled in 15 years.
41:00 ‘Roots’ of mental health issues and ‘fruits’ we can learn from them.
43:29 Narcissism vs Compassion.
45:20 Suffering and transformation: post-traumatic growth.
49:50 Escaping into virtual realities: Dissociation.
53:00 The ‘freeze’ response - shutting the body down.
57:00 Emotional and bodily intelligence in the response to trauma.
01:00:40 Resilience explained - fragile vs anti fragile.
01:02:00 Need for congruence between parents view and kid’s experience of the outside world.
01:04:00 The connection between loneliness and trauma.
01:05:25 Youth mental health and device/internet addiction.
01:07:25 ‘Variable reward’ strategy taken from gambling slot machines.
01:10:45 Overprotecting children in the real world VS under-protecting them on the internet.
01:12:30 Clear differences in kid’s moods and sleep after too long on devices.
01:14:20 Parenting solutions to regulating screen time peacefully.
01:15:50 Don’t wait for legislation to change.
01:16:40 No devices in the bedroom, particularly in the evenings before bed.
01:20:30 Awareness: they’re capable of reflecting on their behaviour.
01:21:00 Rediscovering our bodies in nature as a resource for mental health.
01:22:00 Earthing: direct skin contact with the earth.
01:24:20 Unsupervised play outside and in nature.
01:25:40 The world is safer rather than less safe than the past, despite fears of leaving kids alone outside.
References:
Louis Weinstock, “How the world is driving our kids mad”
Apart of Me mental health charity (please donate)
Fetal Programming paper
Nature walks versus medication: for children with ADHD paper
Jonathan Haidt - “The Anxious Generation”
Paul Gilbert’s - 3 circles model of emotion
Let Grow - movement for childhood independence
Quotes:
“Adversity becomes traumatic when it is compounded by a sense that one's mind is alone."
Peter Fonagy